Be still and Know that I am God

I had a really amazing week!
Scott gave a vespers talk that was....amazing. We ended with going around to all the people you have hurt or have hurt you and praying with them. I cant even tell you how good that felt to get of my chest. I feel like I'm finally at peace with everyone. Honestly for a while I've been freaked out by one thought."what if Jesus comes and I'm not ready?" I keep getting this picture in my head of everyone else being taken up and I'm left behind. And at vespers I just had this incredible peace with everything, like I was made right with the world and...I was ready to die. That sounds like a morbid thought but it was the most comforting thought I've ever had.
It's like everything is falling into place with my spiritual walk. For the first time in my life and can pray with other people and not be thinking about what they will think of my prayer, I can just talk to God as if we were the only two present. I cant even tell you how nice it is to pray with each other and uplift one another. I started going to prayer group and it has been SUCH a huge blessing! I feel like I'm finally having my own personal relationship with Christ.
On Sabbath I decided I wanted to read my Bible outside...only problem was that it was snowing. So I got my sleeping bag and climbed up to the top of the stairs outsider the girls dorm. And plopped down to read, but I didnt really get much readign done. I found myself jsut talking to God. and then I looked out at teh veiw and I was filled with such a sense of Gods love. the words "be still and know that I am God" seemed to go through my head every few seconds. It was all so quiet and beautiful...and white. Pure, like God...like the way I want to be.

Whiter than Snow

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. – Psalms 51:10 ESV

“It’s snowing!” the shout echoed down the halls of the girls’ dorm and eventually found its way to my room. I jumped out of bed and looked out the window, sure enough; the ground was covered in sparkling shining white snow!

I walked to school that morning in a cloud of whiteness, it was beautiful! However, that night as I was walking back to the dorm for worship I noticed with disappointment that the snow was no longer as beautiful as it had once been, the road was marked up with tire tracks and you could see the mud oozing through the ruts, the spray of mud scattered the hillside, and the trees, who were dripping slush instead of housing the white blanket it had earlier that day looked gloomy and dead. However, to my delight, the next day there was a new layer of fresh snow on the ground making the world look new again.

It reminded me of what we do to our hearts. When God gave me my heart it was pure and clean but then I decided I wanted to go my own way and I tramped all over the snow making it dirty. When I realize how I’ve made my heart I ask God to clean it again, so he does, but then I go and destroy it again. This becomes a system, God gives me a new clean heart and I destroy it and ask for another. But God, in his patience keeps giving me a new heart. But I don’t want to keep making it dirty, I want my heart to stay clean. But this transformation can’t happen by itself. I need help from the one who gave it to me. God will give me a new heart, but it’s up to me to decide what I will do with it. Will I keep it clean, or let it become polluted with sin. It’s your choice too, what will you choose?

~ Moriah Mays