“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new”. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
I’m somewhat of a perfectionist. If I’m going to do something, I want it to be done right. Lately, I have been agonizing over the fact that I don’t feel as though I’ve grown at all spiritually. Every time I try to help myself become a better person, I fail, and end up reinforcing in my mind how horrible I really am inside. Just last week, as I was chopping lettuce in the cafeteria, the reason finally hit me! I can’t remember one time that I have asked God for help! I have been trying to make myself into what I know He wants me to be instead of asking Him to help me be perfect.
As a child I remember wanting to do things by myself. One day my mom consented to let me make my own meal. I innocently tried to make ice cream out of tuna fish, milk, applesauce and barbecue sauce. As you imagine, it turned out disgusting! Fascinatingly enough, after it froze it turned out looking pretty good, with nice red swirls. However, frozen tuna fish is still tuna fish.This reminds me of what I am trying to do in my relationship with God. I can make myself beautiful and seemingly good on the outside but on the inside I still have a repulsive, dirty heart that only Jesus can clean. If I would only have given my whole heart to Christ in the beginning it would have been beautiful by now.
So many times we rely on our own strength to get things done when in reality, if we would only give our problems to God, it would save us so much confusion and heartache. I tried so hard to be the person I knew God wanted me to be but in the end I failed because I was relying on myself.
~ Moriah Mays
